Am I Famous Now…

Christmas is approaching at a very high speed today. For the first time this year I realize it is almost time again for Christmas. Luckily -some people will think sadly- I am no Christmas-freak. What does it mean to me ? Hardly anything more as any other regular day, except for the fact that I don’t have to leave home to work. During all those days I can just stay at home and work.

But again this year I noticed that the Holidays have huge impacts on people. Everyone seems to have lost the ‘emotional control button’. OK, I admit a lot of people don’t have such a button. In the last week I was regularly the witness of some ‘real life drama’. People mainly considering that I don’t have a life because I am 21/7 online, which is true. But I think still living a life, even if I usualy look at several screens, have multiple windows and desktops open or in the background. Huge parts of the day I spend in online-communities arguing and giving my 43cents on almost every single topic. I also read quite a lot of blogs. Lately I spent quite some time in a community where it was standard to pounce, hug, kick servers and always do the same without doing anything. I am afraid that a lot of people over there, especially those who think that I don’t have a life got a totally wrong idea about me.

Everytime when I come somewhere I will check the clima and being a good bartender, just no active right now, I know that I am a perfect chameleon. I will chenge to the clima and atmosphere but still pound my eggs occasionally. People will think that I like them and not know how to behave when occasionally I am sarcastic. Those people, having a ‘real life’ always seem to enjoy to have a neutral, not opiniated atmosphere and as soon as a ‘more dry’ topic hits the atmosphere… DRAMA ! Politics, opinions, own opinions… all way to dangerous to speak about, no lets just continue hugging. But only online of course.

You know what is the funny part of this. I am over-opinionated, like ‘arguing’ and never pounce, hug or give flowers away. I never kick my computer, tackle other people or send them hearts all day long. Well maybe there might be one exception in life and that is my girlfriend. Actually I don’t give a fuck about your emotions, but I would like to know your opinions. At least then we can argue. Yes I am not afraid of getting lost in a heated conversation. Nowadays having online arguments is ‘custom’. Whining and expressing his/her sadness all day long over a smilie ( :( ) is just pathetic to me. But even if you whine IRL I will just not care about you. I can’t stand people without self-esteem or without a brain. I want to see ‘guts’ around me, strong people. People who know what life is. Hugging all day long is definitely not life unless you life in some strannge after-68 community.

Call me wanker, bastard, asshole. I can deal with it and will not start crying and running away. No I might start playing ’smart ass’ with you and will surely enjoy it. But to be honest I don’t like ‘victims’ at all. I prefer ‘challenges’ and living a true life, a life with opinions.

Fuck I am drifting… But I don’t feel working this post any longer -yes, lately I even started ‘proofreading’ my posts, but this one is just not worth it. Because you are all fake. The sad thing is that you are not only fake online, but even IRL you are not honest to yourself. One last word :: pathetic.

Oh yes, if you really want to know :: yes it happened one time in my whole 30 years that I cried over some emotions. I screwed up my longest relationship I had. She was worth it, really worth it. You.are.not.