Why do I always surrender and forget ignore myself to help other people? Last week I was sure to give my friendship and especially my first midlife-crise a rest.
Today I am exhausted mentally. What happened? As the position was kinda created for me it was a disappointment to several people that I would drop the job. On friday some people exerced a bit of mental torture pressure on me, resulting in me continuing the job at least for the next weeks to give them time to find someone else (read : in the hope I would grow into it since they didn’t make any moves to create a public job offer).
I knew I didn’t want to stay and even felt good on friday morning knowing it would be my last day (although I had promised I would continue as a volunteer on an almost fulltime base). Today I am past the stage of friendship, I am past any interests in the job, I am beyond my own mental limits. But the job still is mine. And I thought having a rough time at AmEx.
On another note we hit 0.1 today, meaning a first team has come together, the main idea of the project has been agreed and a roadmap has been setup. I am excited, starting today I am lead developer. After summer, a project blog will be set up as we will hopefully reach version 0.2 (build the basic platform of the application). Keep your pants on, estimated release public beta date is (not before) Fall 2007.
Summarized.
I work fulltime at the charity, am freetime designer and constantly learn design skills, just as Photoshop and newly even Illustrator. During my second daily shift I learn AJAX (Asynchronous Javascript And XML), Django and work as lead developer. Quality time? Anyone?
In my freetime I try to maintain a LDR and urgently need to find some more hours follow everything at IT2M. Somehow a major level of stupidity always drags me back to that site. Also I’ll do my best to piss off less people in a future.
Did I just say last?
1 thought being smart ↓
1 Biologisvensk // Jul 13, 2006 at 5:16 am// View all comments by Biologisvensk //
There just aren’t enough hours in a day. Then again, if there were more hours in a day, they’d probably fill up rather quickly with shit to do, and the whole “not enough hours” issue would still be there. I guess one will never win that battle.